Carving Out Time for Yourself Strategies for Balancing Family and Personal Needs

Finding time for yourself when you have a family can feel impossible. I know this firsthand. After my self-diagnosis of autism, I realized how crucial it is to lean into my natural "type A" skills to create balance. I learned that carving out time for myself is not selfish—it’s necessary. It helps me regulate my nervous system, manage triggers, and show up as the best version of myself for my family. In this post, I want to share practical strategies that have worked for me, from scheduling gym time to maintaining strong relationships with my husband, kids, and extended family.

Understanding the Need for Alone Time

Living with autism means I experience sensory triggers that can overwhelm me. Certain noises, too much physical touch, or hyperfixating on tasks without breaks can cause stress. Alone time helps me reset and regulate my nervous system. Without it, I become less patient and less present with my family.

I schedule alone time intentionally because it doesn’t just happen naturally. For me, this means waking up early for CrossFit classes at 5 AM. I never imagined I’d become a CrossFit athlete, but nine months in, my addiction to routine keeps me going. This early workout is my sacred time to focus on myself before the day begins.

Using Routine to Support Mental Health

Routine is my anchor. Besides CrossFit, I meditate twice a day for 20 minutes each session. Meditation calms my nervous system and helps me stay grounded. This practice is essential because I am the main caregiver in our home. When I’m calm, I can better support my husband and kids.

If you struggle with finding time for self-care, try scheduling it like an appointment. Put it on your calendar and treat it as non-negotiable. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea, protecting this time is key.

Keeping Your Relationship Strong with the 2-2-1 Method

Balancing family needs means making time for your partner, too. My husband and I use the 2-2-1 method to keep our relationship strong:

• Date night every 2 weeks

Usually dinner with a babysitter at home.

• Weekend away every other month

Kids stay with grandparents, giving us a break and time to reconnect.

• Bigger trip once a year

We’ve done this occasionally, but hope to make it a regular tradition when the kids are older.

This method helps us prioritize our marriage without feeling guilty. It’s not always easy, but having a plan makes it doable.

Balancing Time with Kids and Extended Family

Making time for kids is a priority, but so is maintaining relationships with extended family and friends. We are lucky to have family support and a babysitter our kids love. This support makes it easier to carve out time for ourselves and each other.

If you don’t have family nearby, look into respite care options through programs like CLTS. Finding responsible care can give you the breaks you need to recharge. It’s worth the effort because when you take care of yourself, you can better care for your children.

Practical Tips for Carving Out Time

Here are some strategies that have helped me balance family and personal needs:

• Schedule your self-care

Treat gym, meditation, or quiet time as appointments.

• Use early mornings

Starting your day with personal time sets a positive tone.

• Communicate your needs

Let your family know why alone time is important for you.

• Plan couple time intentionally

Use methods like 2-2-1 to keep your relationship healthy.

• Seek support

Don’t hesitate to find babysitters or respite care if family help isn’t available.

• Set boundaries around triggers

Identify what overwhelms you and create space to manage those moments.

Final Thoughts on Making Time for Yourself

Struggles will always be part of life, but carving out time for yourself is a powerful way to manage them. By leaning into my strengths and creating routines, I’ve found a balance that works for my family and me. Whether it’s early morning workouts, meditation, or scheduled date nights, these moments recharge me and strengthen my relationships.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small. Pick one thing to schedule this week—maybe 10 minutes of quiet or a short walk. Over time, these small steps add up. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity for your family’s well-being.